Two No Home Boys
by Jinxy.Jinxy
Summary: A Lars x Ronaldo one shot. This is just a cute story where the boys hang out together and things eventually get a little lewd.


Lars ducked behind the Fryshop. Ronaldo was out back peeling potatoes. He sat on a small stool with one bucket for the peels and another for potatoes.  
"Hey." said Lars announcing himself since Ronaldo was engrossed in his task.  
"Oh hey Lars." Ronaldo said cheerfully putting his peeler down.  
"Ya. Hi. I just came by to give you back your book." he said raising his bag.  
"Thanks man." said Ronaldo. "So did you like it?" he asked hopefully.  
"It was pretty okay. Not bad." Lars began.  
"Pretty okay? Not bad?" Ronaldo said with incredulity standing up to face Lars. "This was arguably the No Home Boys at their finest."  
Lars scoffed. "Listen. I only read the book because you liked it. And ya. It was just just pretty okay." he countered on the defensive.  
"Well. Fine. If that's what you believe." Ronaldo said. "You're definitely wrong though." he sat back down.  
Lars sighed. "Okay. I don't like the Graphic Novel adaption. Okay? It just doesn't have the same nostalgia as that old books. I mean now there's all these demons and the plot was about a stolen Pegasus? That doesn't even make sense!" Lars exclaimed.  
Ronaldo's eyes beamed. "You mean you like the No Home Boys?" he asked excitedly.  
"When I was a kid, ya. Everyone did." Lars played it off.  
"Oh Lars that's great!" Ronaldo said.  
"Keep it down, will ya?" he said looking around with apprehension. Ronaldo chuckled. "Your secrets safe with me." He picked up his peeler and finished the potato he had started.  
"So are you coming up later?" he asked.  
"Sure. Sure." said Lars on edge worried someone might see the two of them talking.  
"Great. Can we meet a six? I have to peel another ten pounds of potatoes before my dad will let me go."  
"That works." Lars said.  
"Great." Ronaldo leaned over and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "See you then."  
Lars grimaced, but after looking around kissed Ronaldo back.  
"See you." he called quickly rushing away from the Fry Shop.

Lars was leaning up against the cold stone walls of the lighthouse. He say Ronaldo puffing up the hill and rolled his eyes. Once the other man was in ear shot he snapped.  
"You're late." He barked shining his phone's home-screen at Ronaldo so he could see the time reading 6:05.  
"I know." panted Ronaldo, putting his hands on his knees. "But I wanted to finish this for you." he held out a piece of paper. Lars took it.  
It was a pretty decent drawing of Lars. He was wearing a white shirt with rolled up sleeves. His hair slicked back under a cap with a pair of loose black pants with red patches on the knees. He had a bindle slung over his shoulder and a mischievous gleam in his eye. Above the drawing was written: Lars Gladrags (Lars' Hobosona). And below it a list of his bindle items: A pair of dice, slingshot and two donuts.  
Lars chuckled with good humour, touched by his friend's silly kindness.  
"Is this a picture of me if I was a No Home Boy?"  
"Ya. It's called a Hobosona." Ronaldo explained. "I have one. Ronaldo Bindleberry."  
Lars kept chuckling as he carefully tucked the picture into his pocket. "Man. You are so weird. You know that?" Lars touched Ronaldo's shoulder and squeezed it gently. They both went into the lighthouse.

As the night went on Ronaldo worked on tinkering with a robonoid he had found earlier. He examined the strange strange blue goo that had leaked through a crack in the sphere. He held a beaker of it up to the lamp light. Lars was laying on his stomach, kicking his feet languidly and scrolling through his phone. He looked over and noticing the goo he made a disgusted noise.  
"Ronnie. What is that stuff?"  
"It's the inside of those robots we found." he explained, rubbing his chin in contemplation.  
"Did you kill it?" Lars asked equal parts concerned and impressed.  
"Naw. This one already had a crack."  
"That makes more sense."  
Lars got up to check out the creature splayed out on Ronaldo's desk. He picks it up and the three little peg legs hang limp in his hand. He turned it around a few times.  
"These are so weird." he places it down. "Are these the ones we found diving?"  
"Yep." said Ronaldo putting the beaker down. He smiled up at Lars who was standing beside him.  
"Did you finally get bored of your phone?" he asked with good humour. Lars stuck out his tongue.  
"No. I just had to make sure you weren't murdering anything over here. I don't want the Geneva Convention trying you for war crimes."  
Lars felt Ronaldo take hold of his hand.  
"No way." he said his hand moving farther up his friend's wrist. "I respect the autonomy of all alien civilizations." he pulled Lars down. The other man followed his lead straddling Ronaldo's lap. It was a stretch to cover his wide thighs but Lars' long legs were up for the task.

"Now for the next subject I want to examine."  
Lars rolled his eyes. "Your lines are terrible." he quipped pushing back some of Ronaldo's bouncy ringlets. They fell right back onto his forehead.  
Ronaldo places his hand on the small of the other's back while the other trails up and down his skinny thigh. Lars leans back and takes of his shirt writhing a little on the others lap.

"Is this what you wanted to see?" he asks a bit awkwardly. Exposed to the others gaze. His thin boney chest, rigid pronounced collar bones and thin tapered frame. Ronaldo smiles running his hands up and down Lars' exposed ribs.  
Lars smiles shyly. "Ronnie?" Lars asks again, as Ronaldo smiles mischievously. He touches the curve of Lars' neck where it meets his shoulder. Lars leans into his hand and closes his eyes. Ronaldo's moves further up the others thigh. Lars bounces lightly he leans in to kiss Ronaldo who pushes him back.  
Lars looks a bit insecure. Feeling on display, he can't help himself from worrying. "Ronnie. Do you think I'm attractive? I know I'm a little skinny. But..." he says holding onto the other man's thighs. The other just runs his hands along the bumps of his spine. Lars sees the bulge of Ronaldo's erection as it presses against his cargo shorts. He smiles and begins to shyly rub himself.  
"You turn me on so much Ronnie." he says making eye contact with the blond as he bites his bottom lip mischievously  
"Lars. I've always thought you were the most handsome man ever. Don't you know that?" Ronaldo says incredulously. "I wonder more why you're attracted to me."  
Lars kisses Ronaldo on the lips. He reaches his free hand up to undo the buttons of his shirt. He slides off his shirt and removes the undershirt.  
Ronaldo looks a little insecure this time. He is much more broad. His belly slopes over the waist band of his shorts. His full chest rests on the curve of his belly. Lars kisses slowly moving down Ronaldo's neck and to his chest. He runs his hands along the expanse of the other man. Feeling his chest, rubbing his thumbs over the nipples until they're hard. He touches the others soft arms feeling how doughy they are. He puts both hands on Ronaldo's round belly and rubs it softly. Then runs them down along his love handles. He squeezes them gently.  
"Ronaldo. Shut up. You're great. " he reassures him, cuddling into the other man's bulk. He loved to feel his boney body push against his soft lover. Ronaldo envelopes him in a big hug.  
"Well then come here." says Ronaldo getting out of the chair cradling Lars in his arms. He sits with him in his lap on the couch. Lars excitedly runs his fingers through the others hair. Ronaldo takes his thighs and turns Lars around so that he's facing away from him. He kisses the back of his neck and he feels Lars straighten up and gasp lightly. He runs his hands up and down the smaller man's thighs, always just brushing past his hard cock. Lars writhes pushing his flat ass against Ronaldo's erection. Ronaldo takes a handful of Lars hair forcing his neck up. He bites and kisses his neck. Lars moans. "Ronnie...can you." he stops to gasp again, a cute sharp intake of breath. "Can you touch me please." he takes the others free hand and places it on the bulge in his pants. Ronaldo undoes the button of Lars' tight black jeans. He feels his cock push free once he unzips them.  
Lars gets up and strips off his pants. He stands there in his tight black briefs with the outline of his erection plainly visible.  
"I think you should keep touching yourself for now." says Ronaldo. Lars looks shy. He rubs himself over his underwear. Ronaldo makes a motion for him to take the rest off. Lars obeys. He's standing completely naked; his long thin legs moving up to the sharp v of his pelvic bone. He strokes his generous cock. He begins to look sly as he sees the reaction his display had garnered. Ronaldo moves his hand to undo his shorts. He reaches in and takes out his own cock.  
"Wow. Lars you have a nice body." he says. Lars smiles broader and strokes his member proudly.  
Ronaldo beckons him forward and he comes over to remove Ronaldo's shorts. He looks at the other man in his boxers. He has big round thighs and thick calves with blonde hair. His belly is covered in a trail of blonde hair as well. He's much paler than Lars whose skin is always a few shades darker.  
Lars kneels down in between Ronaldo's legs and slides off his goofy Pacman boxers. They both make eye contact and smile. This was the first time they had both been completely naked together. It made them both feel brave and shy. Lars had never given a blow job before but he had brought himself to orgasm alone many times thinking about pleasuring Ronaldo. He took cock in his mouth, bobbing his head and making adorable slurping sounds. Ronaldo leaned back into the couch cushions.  
"Lars..." he said reaching his hands out to run his fingers through his auburn hair. He stroked the side of his head."Lars..." he tried again to form a sentence. Lars had his eyes closed tight as he worked with singular purpose to try and bring him to orgasm. Ronaldo's shook, his body jiggling as he enjoyed the pleasure that Lars was giving him. Before he could finish he pulled Lars hair so the other man's mouth was no longer on his cock. Lars looked up at him, a thin trail of saliva attached from his mouth to Ronaldo's cock. He took him by the shoulders and guided him up to the couch. There he laid him down and straddled him. Lars excitedly writhed under him drawing him farther down on top. The feeling of all Rondalo's bulk pressing against him made him feel secure. His cock throbbed against Ronaldo's thigh. He felt himself completely stuck under all his weight and it turned him on immensely. They kissed passionately. Lars breathing heavy his thin chest heaving. Ronaldo was soon out of breath as well. He leaned back. Lars ran his hands along his belly. He held his doughy sides, pinching and squeezing.  
Ronaldo got up off the couch and he kneels in front of Lars who excitedly sat up and spread his legs. Ronaldo took his cock into his mouth. Kneeling his belly rested on his thighs. Lars grabbed a handful of his hair and pushed his head farther down his shaft. He held his head steady hearing Ronaldo breath through his nose as his cock went past his tonsils.  
"Oh Ronnie." Lars yelped holding his curls tightly. He could feel Ronaldo pumping at his own cock while Lars forced his head up and down. When Ronaldo looked up at him his eyes were close to watering. He switched to giving Lars a hand job as he caught his breath. Lars bounced on the cushion feeling the pleasure of the other mans big hands. He soon went back to sucking his cock.  
Lars yelped lightly, his cock twitching in Ronaldo's mouth. "Jesus Ronnie. I'm close...I'm so close." he rocked lightly biting his lip his hands curling into fists gripping the edge of the couch. He came with a soft moan. Ronaldo continued to suck until there was nothing left. He smiled up at Lars who looked down on him through half closed eyes. He began to pet his friend's head. Ronaldo was still touching himself.  
Lars smirked feeling powerful in the afterglow of his orgasm. He leanned back into couch and spread his arms out along the back cushions. His now soft member still looked large on his tiny frame.  
"I'll finnish you off Ronnie." Lars said, patting the spot beside him. And he did bringing Ronaldo to climax jerking him with his hand while he straddled his lap. He played with his hair and kissed and bit his lip. Ronaldo spilled his seed onto his round stomach. Lars got some tissue while Ronaldo dozed happily.  
They both stood a little shy still naked after their experience. They smiled nervously avoiding eye contact. Lars gathered up his clothes and Ronaldo put his on. They cuddled on the couch for a bit. Lars was laying in Ronaldo's lap on his phone. Ronaldo was reading a book about aliens,holding it above Lars' head.

Eventually Lars got up and started fishing about in the contents of Ronaldo's desk drawer. He took out a few push-pins and tacked his Hobosona to the corkboard.  
"There." he said stepping back. Ronaldo looked up from his book. "Lars Gladrags is on display." he smiled and crossed his arms.

"Oh my gosh. Lars! We can go to Delmarva Con this year as our Hobosonas!"  
Lars shot him a withering glance.  
"Absolutely no we won't."  
"Oh come on! You would have so much fun. I go every year."  
"Ronnie. I'm not going anywhere near that nerd hoard."  
"You are missing out on one of man kinds finest achievements. Us marginalized nerds brought together for the singular purpose of communicating with our like minded intelligent brethren free of scorn..."  
Lars had walked over to Ronaldo and kissed him.  
"Please. Ronnie. Just shut up." he said.  
Ronaldo did as the two started kissing again on the couch.


End file.
